Riddles in the Dark
by yodajax10
Summary: In a sort of short parody of The Hobbit, Princess Jasmine comes across an insane little visitor while being lost in a cave. Will she get out?


Riddles in the Dark

In a dark cave, there was a waterhole and a small island that looked like a simple rock in the middle. A voice echoed along these deep passages, and there right in the middle of the rock, there was a strange creature that had stirred from his little nap. It was a naked tan chihuahua with big pink eyes. This was the creature who would be known as...Ren. "My precious." He said waking from his nap. "My precious." He dipped his hand in the water. "Yesssss," He said as he caught a nearby fish. "Food for my precious." Something then caught Ren's attention. He saw an unconscious 22 year-old black haired Arabian girl with brown eyes. She wore a blue jewel head piece on her head, red lipstick, a sleeveless light blue top, blue pants, and yellow shoes. He used his arm to slowly paddle to shore on his little boat.

Princess Jasmine had awoke from being unconscious. She has been separated from her friends on an adventure. "Where am I?" she said as she lit a match. She looked around and then on the ground, she discovered a bar of soap. "What's this?" she said as she picked it up. "It's in a filthy cave, yet it looks fresh and new." She put it in her pocket. She then looked to see if there was a path out of the cave, when she suddenly saw Ren behind a rock. She looked alarmed at first but then she nervously asked. "Who-who are you?" "Mmm," said Ren with a creepy smile. "A tasty juicy being you'd make me." He crawled from behind the rock and sat down. "I'm Jasmine, princess of Agrabah." said Jasmine. Ren started slowly approaching her, while drooling saliva. Jasmine quickly took out a little dagger. "Stay back," she said calmly. "I'm armed with a small blade." Ren hissed as he jumped back. "That's better." said Jasmine as she put her dagger away. "Perhaps you know the way out?" "Well, why not sit here and chat?" said Ren. "Do you like riddles?" "Riddles?" said Jasmine. "Well, yes." "We must have a competition!" said Ren. "If you ask me, and I can't answer. Then...I...lead you...out." "And if you win?" said Jasmine. "Then...I'd have something big and tasty to eat." said Ren, referring to Jasmine. The princess gasped. She then looked around, seeing how there was no way out. She was stuck with Ren. "It seems I don't have a choice." said Jasmine as she sat down.

"I'll start." said Ren. "Voiceless, it cries, wingless, flutters, toothless, bites, mouthless, mutters. Can you…Guess…The answer?" "Let me think." said Jasmine. Ren then smiled. "Are you nice?" said Ren as he started slobbering while crawling towards Jasmine. "Are you secretly gooey, scrumptious?" "If you please!" said Jasmine taking out her dagger. "BACK OFF MAN!" said Ren as he jumped back from the dagger. "I'm a princess, mind you." said Jasmine. "But I know that wind is the answer." Ren then looked stubborn as Jasmine put away her dagger. "Now, my turn." said Jasmine. "A box without hinges, key or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid." "Give me a chance, man." said Ren. He thought for a second, but then his eyes widened. "Oh!" said Ren, grinning at Jasmine. "Eggs! Eggs is the answer!" "Oh, drat!" Jasmine muttered, knowing that was right.

Singer: _It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,_  
_Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt._  
_It lies behind stars and under hills,_  
_And empty holes it fills._  
_It comes first and follows after, _  
_Ends life, kills laughter._  
_The answer is dark, the dark…_

"My turn! Yes, my turn!" said Ren. "Very well," said Jasmine. "Speak your riddle." Ren then spoke in a gruff tone. "This thing, all things devours: Birds, beasts, trees, flowers; Gnaws iron, bites steel; Grinds hard stones to meal; Slays king, ruins town! And beats high mountain **down!**" Jasmine then gulped. This sounded like a tough one. "Well," she said. "Let me see." "What is the answer? Get on with it, man!" said Ren. "Just a moment now!" said Jasmine. "And I've told you already, I'm a princess." Jasmine continued to think. Ren started tapping his foot. "Just stay calm," said Jasmine. "Give me time." "What?!" said Ren. "Time!" said Jasmine. "I said time!" Ren growled in frustration. "That's the answer!" "It is?" said Jasmine. "I mean it is! Well, can we get out of here now?" "No!" said Ren. "You must ask one more riddle! Yes! Yes!" "Oh, I can't think of another one." said Jasmine. "Ask! ASK!" Ren said angrily. "Oh, very well." said Jasmine. Her eyes widened as she had an idea. "What have I got in my pocket?" "What?!" said Ren. "Not fair! That's not even a riddle!" "Well, it's my turn now and this is what I'm giving you." said Jasmine. "If you can't guess, you lose and show me out." Ren groaned as he tried to think. "FINE! You win! I give up!" said Ren. "Alright then. Now show me out!" said Jasmine.

"Just give me a second." said Ren. He crawled in his boat. "Where are you going?" said Jasmine. Ren ignored her as he swam to his little cave to find his ice-cream bar, if he can't eat Jasmine he had to eat something. "Oh my beloved ice cream bar." He said to himself drooling, thinking of his little treat. "How I love to lick your creamy center." "What on earth is he talking about?" said Jasmine. "You're not like the others, you're like the same things I do." said Ren to himself. "Wax paper. Boiled football leather. Dog breath! We're not hitchhiking anymore. We're riding!" Ren got of his boat and hopped inside his make-shift house on the middle of that island. "What is he up to?" said Jasmine. She looked in her pocket and saw the soap. "He'd never guess THIS was in my pocket." Jasmine then cringed as she heard a horrific scream come from Ren's little house. "Oh my goodness!" said Jasmine.

Ren started yelling as he was looking in his cave for his ice-cream bar. "My ice cream bar! It's lost! LOST!" He then raised up and realized something he jumped out of his house and called out in different directions because he couldn't see Jasmine from that distance. "Oh no!" He called. "I know what you have! You have my ice cream bar!" What Jasmine didn't know was that Ren was right. He always confused a bar of soap for an ice cream bar. Her eyes widened as she heard sounds in the water. It was Ren swimming towards her! He didn't get in the boat because he was in a hurry. Jasmine quickly hid behind a rock. Ren got on shore and looked around. "Where are you?!" said Ren. "You can't take it from me now!" His eyes welled up with tears. "I've had this ice cream bar since I was a CHILD! People always trying to take it from me! WHY WON'T THEY LEAVE ME **ALOOOOOONE?!**" Jasmine kept quiet, she didn't want to give herself away to that insane little monster. "Oh," said Ren thinking. "You don't know the way OUT, but you know the way IN! You're escaping! Oh, but you can't escape from me, not without my i!" Ren then ran off to the exit. Jasmine peeked from the rock and started to quietly follow Ren.

A while later, Ren was walking down a cramp passageway that lead to a hole which lead to the outside, what he didn't know was that Jasmine was following. "NO! She escaped with my ice-cream bar!" He held his head in depression as he blubbered frustratingly. Jasmine then leaped over him. "Yes!" She said happily. "YOU!" said Ren. "Get back her!" He got his food stuck as he tried to break free. "**YOU FILTHY, THIEVING WITCH! I WILL KILL YOU!**" Ren screamed as he tried desperately to get free. Jasmine quickly tried to get out as fast as she could. She then looked at the soap. "Guess I really don't need this." She shrugged and tossed the soap. As she escaped, the soap slid right back down to Ren. "My ice cream bar!" Ren said happily as he hugged his ice cream bar, laughing maniacally.

THE END


End file.
